Today I am 28 years old. Strange, I don’t feel any different. Well that’s not entirely true. I do feel a bit more mature. A bit wiser maybe. A bit more contented with who I am even though the dream of playing keyboard in a punk-rock band becomes less likely each year. Even though being mistaken for a teenager (a troubled teenager with three children) becomes less flattering each year. Unless you take into account that my back hurts most of the time and that confused/angry/I can’t see very well wrinkle in between my eyes is starting to stick. All things considered, I don’t feel much different. In honor of this day I give you:
“28 Ways I Still Feel the Same.”
- I still have weird action/adventure dreams almost every night. Two nights ago it involved a young Val Kilmer who was highly insulted when I couldn’t remember his name.
- I still have a hard time finding long sleeves that come all the way to my wrist because of my genetically mutated monkey arms.
- I still plan to write a book. About what I know not. But I still plan to write one.
- I still envision myself with long flowing hair when the reality is I cannot grow this straw past my shoulders. I’ve been trying to for as long as I can remember.
- I still prefer reading a good book to almost any other activity.
- I still drink milk with almost every meal.
- I still don’t know what the crap the lyrics from “Glycerine” even mean. But they make me sad.
- I still dislike raw onions.
- I am still terrified of spiders.
- I still crack jokes that nobody gets on the off chance that SOMEONE will laugh and then maybe that person will want to be my friend. That doesn’t usually happen.
- But I still laugh at my own jokes though.
- I still believe that real ice cream is good for you.
- I still feel the need to apologize after every social interaction.
- I still swear when I stub my toe.
- I still swear when someone cuts me off in traffic.
- I still swear because sometimes its kind of funny.
- I still pretend like I don’t like swearing.
- I still hate doing the laundry.
- I still love swinging on the swing set.
- I still prefer jeans and a tee-shirt to any other ensemble.
- I still look like a retarded hippo when I run.
- I still get really excited about Tim Burton movies.
- I still put my feet up on the dashboard if I’m riding shotgun.
- I still run into walls a lot.
- I still can’t hold still when I hear “Billy Jean”.
- I still like my salsa cut with sour cream.
- I still can’t watch the nurse when I get blood drawn.
- I still get overly excited about my birthday!
WOO- HOO!
Wow, we are a lot alike, according to this list. My middle wrinkle between my eyes is staying as well. I also look like retarded hippo when I run. I also have freakishly long monkey arms. Actually, you could go down the list and I would say same…same…same, except for running into walls. I haven’t done that in a while. In that way, you are quite unique.
Happy Birthday!!!
Happy Birthday, my sometimes foul-mouthed, sometimes clumsy, yet always beautiful and thoughtful friend! I have mucho love for the birthday haircut, by the way!
I WISH I had already seen the b-day haircut!! I’m sitting at my computer wondering when Clarissa and Brenna and their cousins will finally drift off to sleep – – they’ve been in there for two hours already…Hope your Date-Night goes better than our ‘go to sleep’ routine. I can’t wait to see you run – – I’m very intrigued to meet a retarded hippo look-a-like! I think having someone laugh at your jokes and want to be your friend DEFINITELY happened with me!! LOVE YOU BIRTHDAY GIRL!~
Don’t worry I get your jokes, and I always laugh at them!
I have a feeling the next time we get together I will laugh at many of your jokes, and even though it’s a long-distance relationship, I do consider you my friend already 🙂
Happy belated birthday!
BTW, I have a hard time believing someone your size could look like a hippo.
Oh, my clever, funny, beautiful, talented, contrary, little “No-Molly”. I wish ALL “NO-Mollys” were as wonderful as you are.
Most of those traits you have are very endearing.
I’m so glad you are you, and you are my daughter.
Glad your birthday was good.
I love you.
AND, BTW, your arms (and Angie’s, and Gina’s)are from your dad. I love them. Wayne’s are from Dad’s father.
Your running style is from my side, but I took a class and learned to run at one point. (not anymore)
I love ALL things about you!
And, my “middle wrinkle” is now permanent and as deep as the Grand Canyon. Sorry.
happy birthday!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I loved your list so dearly… I am sorry I’m a bit late, but nonetheless I wish you a VERY HAPPY WONDERFUL (imagine the font getting bigger and bigger) BIRTHDAY!
how did that happen? you’re 28? have we always been a year apart? wierd
Happy way-lated birthday, Sista. BTW this post was genius. We’ve a lot in common, besides the monkey arm thingy…
you so so so so funny! I love reading your blog because you say what everyone else is thinking but can’t think of the words to say… if that makes sense… you inspire me! Love it!