The other night I had a dream. I was sitting in my living room when I heard someone screaming outside. I ran to my front window and, looking east could see an enormous tornado headed directly towards my house. I grabbed for my children and dove to the ground just as the glass shattered. The house around us disintegrated in slow motion and the world was nothing more than yellow dust. I woke up and forgot entirely about the nightmare until later that morning, while we were sitting in the doctor’s office preparing for Cambria’s four-month shots. Brooklyn had been playing with one of those infant ring-stackers. She showed me how she had stacked them upside down, from smallest to largest. “Like a tornado”, she said.
Brooklyn started Kindergarten today and I feel (and probably look) like I’ve been the victim of some kind of natural disaster. Because the facts is, few disasters terrify me more than the inescapable doom of my babies growing up.
For a year I’ve been preparing her. Worrying about the anxiety I was sure she would feel. Hoping she would feel confident and that she would want to go. Preparing myself for a possible melt-down…
One guess who had the melt-down?
yes. that tornado hits without warning. i’ve been slammed twice. eke! i look at my boys and remember they were once babies and soon they will be missionaries. wow! total tornado.
It’s bitter sweet, isn’t it.
But ultimately, this is what we want as parents: to nurture and develop independent, capable, and stable children/ adults who can bring some good into this world.
You’re doing great 🙂
I never have understood the sadness when kids go to school. (Maybe cause I haven’t dealt with it yet.) They still come home after school, still make a mess, still want and need everything, still fight with siblings right? It’s just that now you have a few hours without that. Right? Am I missing something? Is it normal that I’m counting down the days (364) until mine starts school?
Beautiful, insightful post, Diana.
I remember the first day of school for each one of you, but especially for Gina, the first one who left the nest. I cried too but she didn’t see me. I walked her to school in Aiea, HI, took her picture by a tree and waved to her as she confidently walked into the classroom.
Seeing the pics of Brookie walking, standing, thinking, I feel your pain. She will, however be fine and do very well. You have done a good job and Andy is there for both of you.
Love you all so much
As you well know, that is a recurring nightmare I have had since the wee days of my childhood. I wake up in a cold sweat everytime.
I shed a tear for you too Di, because Brookie is growing up so fast. I realize Maeby’s first day of Kindergarten is right around the corner too, and then middle school, and then high school, and then…….it all flies by. You are doing a great job, Di.
Thanks everyone.
Melissa- LOL! I think its less about the fact that they’re gone three hours a day and more about what that represents. At least for me.
See all those other mothers snapping as many pics as their memory cards can hold? You are not alone. They were all feeling it that day too.
As for my own insights, I can tell you that those moments are indeed bittersweet. But it is so much fun watching the milestones as they come. Some of my favorite moments as a mom have been in late adolescence and the teen years. As long as you take the time to savor those moments, you are doing a great job as a mother. And I’ve watched you and Andy in action and can attest to your children’s fine upbringing.
Do you think Nathan would mind if I hid in the bushes and snapped pictures of him walking into high school on his first day?
Hahaha. Do it 🙂
lol! I’ll be right there in the bushes with you, Shana.
… teheehee
This post should be published – – you are such a vivid writer. I can’t help but get a lump in my throat…I share the struggle with this reality. You’re wonderful and your happy kids prove it!
That was so beautiful!
You are such an amazing woman, and I can honestly tell you I have looked up to you for as long as I’ve known you… you should know that.