One amusing Christmas memory * Two Christmas’ ago, when Brooklyn was three, she received a Raggedy-Ann doll from Andy’s Grandma Dot. As she opened it, I thought to myself, “My what a classic and lovely present from her great grandma.” Brooklyn’s reaction, “Red hair? Oh NO!” as she chucked it across the room. Prejudice little ingrate. She has since come to appreciate the doll as well as the untamed glory that is red hair.
Two theories why Santa chooses the chimney as his best means of entry * a) free rooftop parking, b) Santa’s a pyro.
Three things you want for Christmas * a web cam, impractical shoes, and gift cards.
Four of your favorite Christmas movies * A Christmas Story, Christmas Vacation, It’s a Wonderful Life, and The Grinch (original cartoon).
Five ways you’ve been naughty this year * I hid Andy’s old shirts in a bag under the bed and pretended I didn’t know what he was talking about. Yes, I heard the phone ring but I let it go to voice mail. I purchased Blades of Glory. I used expletives while driving. I gave the impression I agree.
Six ways you’ve been nice * I refrained from punching the snooty woman in the grocery store in her perfectly whitened teeth. I said please and thank you. I saved the last cookie for Andy. I gave others the benefit of the doubt. I practiced patience beyond my own. I took a giant leap of faith.
Seven people you suspect are elves * Elija Wood, Erika, Rene’ Zellwegger, Beck, our Olive Garden waiter, Hugh Grant, and Shana.
Eight of Santa’s reindeer (no cheating) * dasher, dancer, prancer, vixen, comet, cupid, dunder, and miflin.
Nine uses for snow * instant icepack, to make delicious snow-cones, to throw at unsuspecting bescarved victims, fortress to hide behind while throwing at said victims, good excuse to stay warmly bundled inside house, cloaks ill-kept yards, easy to track people on foot, awesome to slide down on sleds, keeps salesmen at bay.
Ten least favorite things about Christmas * frenzied shoppers, middle-aged women in SUV’s (see frenzied shoppers), creepy Santas, Michael McLean, hallmark movies, unbridled avarice, driving through snow, pop stars mutilating Christmas carols, non-gifts (the obligatory ones you receive from people who don’t really know or like you), extreme commercialism.
Eleven word associations to “figgy pudding” * giddy, puddle, poodle, fiddle, goopy, fructose, yeti, piggy, Cedric Diggory, bling-bling.
Twelve reasons you love Christmas * pine-scent, gingerbread cookies, the first snow, twinkling lights, classic Christmas carols, new pajamas, hot chocolate, neatly wrapped packages, family togetherness, eggnog with sprite, reverent nativities, and my children’s faces.
*i tag you.
LOL!!!
Dunder and Miflin?
I laughed pretty hard on that one.
Somebody’s been watching ‘The Office.’
I’ll do the tag just because I am currently bereft of blog ideas.
You are hilarious! are you sure you want this to be a closed blog? because I think that you could get quite the following if only…
I agree with trishanna, Di.
You would be wicked popular. Don’t you want to be wicked popular?
I know you’re concerned about the safety of your kids, and yourself. Just don’t give out any vital info in your posts.
You ARE SO clever, Di. I enjoy your funny mind!
My “veri word” is prophetic; “monone”.
How did you know I’m an elf? I too really liked the Dunder and Miflin comment. So funny!