I was a skeptic in the womb. I questioned the motives of those cooing over my crib. I never took for granted that a smile meant friendship. Which probably accounts for that blinking-eye tic I developed in second grade. Life can be stressful for a skeptical seven year old.
Life can be stressful for a skeptical 29 year old, but at least I don’t have the tic anymore. Perhaps it’s because I am capable of defending myself with ninja-like reflexes and jedi-mind tricks. Or perhaps it’s because I have learned who generally can and cannot be trusted. For example, people wearing Muse shirts can be trusted to have awesome taste in music, while people wearing anything featuring a Disney character cannot. But for all my sweet ninja moves and jedi-cognition there is one group that makes me particularly uncomfortable. And that group is the eyebrow-less. Completely unwarranted prejudice? Absolutely. Hypocritical coming from a girl with a goiter you say? Just kidding I don’t have a goiter. But even if I did I wouldn’t trust the eyebrow-less for the simple fact that I can’t read them. I have no idea how they’re feeling. Its unnerving. I don’t like it. I may not have the most glorious eyebrows in the world (though people will insist upon telling me so) but they communicate everything you need to know about me.
I know, I know. There are plenty of very decent human beings including Whoopi who have been born without or have lost their eyebrows due to circumstances they refuse to or can’t explain properly because nobody knows if their kidding or not. It must be a frustrating life though you certainly can’t tell by looking at them. Take the following sentence:
Nice job today. You are probably the best pianist alive. ~_
As you can see from the eyebrow, I was totally being sarcastic. You are definitely not the best pianist alive. Not even close.
Nice job today. You are probably the best pianist alive. \/
I mean it, you probably are the best pianist alive but I’m not happy about it.
Nice job today. You are probably the best pianist alive. no eyebrow.
Yeah, not cool is it? Whoopi 1, Me 0. Well played you eyebrowless punk. I don’t even know how to react to that. ~ \
Awesome new post Di! I think I lose all listening capacity with someone without eyebrows, not for a lack of trust, although now I’m thinking, but because I am too distracted with the need to paint some on, or to powder the ever-shiny skin in the absence of eyebrow hair!
And therein lies my problems with my father-in-law…
That was/is awesome, Di! I think you are getting more and more creative as you grow more experienced (older). LOVE that you are blogging again! You are so funny and clever. And, you do have great eyebrows. I’ve seen millions and yours are really good.
nice – – mmm cupcakes….were you saying something?!
I want to take your eyebrows and paste them to my face. I could totally rock the Di-brow!