Add this to the hundredth reason you no longer want to hang out, but I am not a fan of parades. I would rather do any number of tedious, unpleasant things than attend a parade including stabbing myself in the face with a fork. Andy and I had been married three years before this ever came up. And when our eyes met for the first time after admitting our mutual loathing for parades, I fell in love all over again.
Because horse crap aside, I have so many unanswered questions. Like who are these old men driving by in cars waving benignly? And what is the appeal of a float? Floats kind of lost their edge with the invention of special effects didn’t they? And who are these sad nameless people sitting atop said floats, chucking taffy? And where is the magic in that? If I have a hankering I can buy and entire bag of unhandled taffy at the store any day of the week without having to bake on my folding chair in the sun for an hour surrounded by the sweating masses dying slowly of unimaginable boredom.
I know; You love parades. You, and practically every other human being on the planet. I couldn’t even find an appropriately sad parade picture for this post. Even Google couldn’t fathom what a “lame parade” might look like, which is what I typed into its search engine. “Do you mean Lemon Parade?” “Do you mean Happy Happy Fun Time Parade?” No Google, but thank you for confirming what I already knew: I am missing something. Maybe I’m a robot.
i think a disney parade would probably be cool, but other than that…not so much!
All other parades pale in comparison to the Disney parade, it’s true. Disney just does things right. We actually attended the Disney Pixar parade during gay pride week, which only made it that much more fabulous. We sang, we danced, we were squirted with water by the Monsters Inc cast, and we saw hoards of men sporting Daisy Duke shorts also singing and dancing and being hosed down by Mike Wazowski. It was DA BOMB!
All other parades I attend because I’m a mom, an American, and a lemming, so I feel compelled to do so. Oh, and if you ever get the chance, you should check out my parade pics from my childhood. I was on every float ever made by the Lion’s Club of St. George from ’83-’95, which explains a few things about me.
I am right there with you!!
I love you! Haa HAAA! I will still hang out with you, even though you’re ‘missing something.’ It is just fine by me – – I think I only like parades because I get to see my neighbors and their kids and watch my kids chase candy and come out of their little bubbles…maybe I’ve been brain-washed by society…Good for you for not falling prey to their mind-numbing messages of false ‘fun’. Ha Ha – did I mention I love you? You really can make me smile quicker than anyone!
We must be related.
ALL parades are lame…
Wayne and I stumbled upon a Veteran’s Day parade on 5th Avenue in New York when we were visiting there a few years ago. That was the ONLY time I was kind of enthralled because there were little old men in their uniforms juxtaposed with young, svelte, brawny men currently serving in the Armed Forces. Plus there were tanks and lots of drums. And then 20 minutes passed and I was ready to browse in Sacks.
Young? Svelte? Brawny, Shana?
thats it! you are a robot! it all makes sense now.