Everyone in my family, Angie included, knows why she was conceived- Mom thought I needed a friend. Does that mean she owes me a life-debt? Quite possibly but I’m not one to bring it up. Except in the utmost of need. To be honest, I’m the one who’s eternally grateful I didn’t grow up an only child regardless of what internet quiz results might say.
Angie has been my best friend from as far back as I can remember. She has been my playmate, my sidekick, my confidant, my rival, my cohort, my inspiration, my little sister, the yin to my yang, the snake to my mongoose, or mongoose to my snake. Either way.
Growing up, I could not have asked for a better sister. And so, it is to you Angie that I dedicate the following, though it is riddled with private jokes that will leave most everyone else feeling slightly confused and uncomfortable and at the same time superior for being above such foolishness.
What ever became of Slugo? Does anything grow on the tomb of Thor Barron Court Jester? How dangerous is it to ride from Cobb to San Diego in a camper shell? Do you still sing “Soldier Boy” when you’re alone? When that puppy bit your buttock was it the left or right cheek? Honestly, do you think I made a better Anita or Tony? Why would any mother encourage her eleven year old daughter to wear homemade paisley hammer pants to school? Do you still sleep with Brownie? Do you still hear Santa’s bells? Why wasn’t mom concerned that Psycho was our favorite movie growing up? Was the “breaking Russell’s bike and getting a black eye trying to make me crash” incident your final bike ride? Why hide in the bathroom when you could have been playing Sock Bears with me? Do you still have a thing for shiny and brightly colored hats? Would you like to play Chess with me sometime? Who the deuce is Little Lord Fauntleroy anyway? Are you still a Bo-Lover? Will you bena un slave again? Did Pooncha ever end up in that animal-rehabilitation center she so desperately required? Can I have a copy of the Jennifer movie? Do you also have mixed-emotions about Girl’s Camp? Where can I sign up for the“We Be Cookin” club? Out of all our costumes why did Jacob consistently choose to wear tights and leotards? Lindsay? Would you blame me if I named my future son Luis Lopez Fitzgerald Sortor? If that’s how Bryce acts when he isn’t high, how does he act when he is? Tell me what happens when you try and Tarzan- it off a very steep slope? Do you share better now you’re all grown up? At what point did you surpass me in wisdom, beauty, and cooking skill? When we finish writing our young adult fiction, can my name be listed first and very boldly? Aren’t you glad I never bring up any traumatic childhood experiences? And lastly, is it possible to have a cooler little sister?
I’m seriously proud of you and love you so much! Happy 25th Birthday Sistah!
